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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

On Pain and Love as Related

I saw an interesting post on Facebook. I don't have it in an exact quote here, but the gist of it was that love so often gets blamed for pain, heartache and brokenness when in reality, love is the opposite of all those things.

We end with a broken heart after a relationship and we blame love. We end up hurt after a friend breaks our trust and we blame love. A family breaks apart and the pain that results is blamed on love.

I think I agree with the quote. Now...to those you who know me very well, you know that I've gone through stages of severe cynicism toward love. Part of it was put on and part of it was rooted deep in my heart. But...I begin to see (and this quote opened my eyes in a new way) that real love isn't the cause of pain. Real love is beautiful. Perfect love casts out fear. It's kind. Perfect lovetrue love--never fails.

Sometimes we get hurt because we expect love to fill our emptiness and hopelessness. The problem is that true love is not self-centered, so when we end up disappointed because love has not met our expectations, we blame love and become bitter toward it.

Too often this is because what we experienced was not real love. It was not love that puts the other person first no matter how difficult or inconvenient it may be. The best kind of love is that in which both people are whole-heartedly committed to the good of each other.

May I be so bold as to say (and I don't believe this thought is original with me) that love is not about "give and take." It is, rather, about give...and give...and give more. If two people are dedicated to this, I believe there is a high probability of success in the relationship.

Perhaps I have digressed a bit.... Back to the original thought, love is not pain. The pain often associated with love comes from love rejected, broken, or trampled upon. Love itself is a beautiful gift from God
a gift that brings inexplicable happiness and that covers a multitude of shortcomings.

On Pain and Love

I saw an interesting post on Facebook. I don't have it in an exact quote here, but the gist of it was that love so often gets blamed for pain, heartache and brokenness when in reality, love is the opposite of all those things.

We end with a broken heart after a relationship and we blame love. We end up hurt after a friend breaks our trust and we blame love. A family breaks apart and the pain that results is blamed on love.

I think I agree with the quote. Now...to those you who know me very well, you know that I've gone through stages of severe cynicism toward love. Part of it was put on and part of it was rooted deep in my heart. But...I begin to see (and this quote opened my eyes in a new way) that real love isn't the cause of pain. Real love is beautiful. Perfect love casts out fear. It's kind. Perfect lovetrue love--never fails.

Sometimes we get hurt because we expect love to fill our emptiness and hopelessness. The problem is that true love is not self-centered, so when we end up disappointed because love has not met our expectations, we blame love and become bitter toward it.

Too often this is because what we experienced was not real love. It was not love that puts the other person first no matter how difficult or inconvenient it may be. The best kind of love is that in which both people are whole-heartedly committed to the good of each other.

May I be so bold as to say (and I don't believe this thought is original with me) that love is not about "give and take." It is, rather, about give...and give...and give more. If two people are dedicated to this, I believe there is a high probability of success in the relationship.

Perhaps I have digressed a bit. Back to the original thought...it is not love that is painful, but love that is unaccepted, rejected, or trampled upon. Love itself is a beautiful treasure from God
a treasure that hides a multitude of hurts.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Questioning the Moon Man

The moon hung low and orangish in a cloud bescattered sky.
And I felt like it was watching with a droopy-lidded eye.
So knowing it was old, and postulating old meant wise.
I ventured ask a question with no guaranteed replies.

"Mr. Moon," my mind began, "I know you've seen an awful lot.
I mean, you've got the perfect looking down, observing type of spot.
So, have things always been the way they seem inside my thoughts?
Is it just me? Or does this tale fill many a page in many plots?"

Silence was my answer for quite a lengthy while.
And I thought I'd get naught else but a quiet, knowing smile.
But finally a rumbling stir and I knew across the miles
My heart would have it's answer from the Moon Man's ancient files.

"Young man," the Moon Man chuckled in a low and jolly voice,
"Your plight is like to many who embarked in it by choice--
A quandary common to all normal earth-born men and boys.
It's marked, at times, with quietness, at times with warring noise."

I pondered that for quite some time 'til I caught a sudden yawn.
"One last question, Sir," I called, "One more thing before the dawn...."
"Is this journey worth the effort? What of the men who've gone?"
"It's noble," came his answer. "It's noble, Son. Press on...."

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A Happy Bit

I have really been enjoying living in general lately. God has blessed me with a job that I'm enjoying, amazing friends that are an encouragement to me on a daily basis, and hope for a future that He controls. The best part is that He has given me a peace that passes understanding. There are some things in life right that I'm not sure about and some that are scary, but I have complete confidence that He is in control. It is a restful path that I walk with God.

Friday, September 30, 2011

On Life, Death and Beauty

Death....  It forces our attention to the irreducible minimality of life--the stark reality that often what we consider important in life is really not important at all.  A confrontation with death awakens us to the fact that the movies we have watched, the music we have listened to, the games we have played, all the things we have done out of a selfish motive have absolutely no value.  Two things become of paramount importance when death faces us.  First, our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Second, the legacy we have left behind.

Death....  Its beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.  For those who squandered their life selfishly and wastefully, death is an ugly monstrosity--a beast to be feared and loathed.  For the Christian who has given his life completely to the Father and has endevoured to live selflessly and circumspectly, death is a beautiful creation.  Not a thing of bondage but a thing that frees us from mortality and introduces us to eternal life with those we love the most, first of whom is Christ, our Saviour.

Death....  It is the final step of our pilgrimage.  It is the vehicle that transports us to our final destination.  That destination is dependent upon the course we have chosen for our lives--essentially selfish or selfless.  In Philippians 3:20 Paul speaks a powerful message to Christians.
But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.  (NLT)
We are citizens of Heaven!  That means that even though death is often portrayed as a thing of power, a thing of loneliness, a thing to be feared, as Christians, we need not fear.  We are citizens of Heaven.  Because of this our hearts may rejoice with Paul when he says,
For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  (I Corinthians 15:53-57 KJV)
There is one last verse in that chapter that is a powerful encouragement and admonition.
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.  (I Corinthians 15:58 KJV)
We labor not in vain!  Death has no victory!  The grave will hold only our mortality.

Death....  Its beauty really is in the eye of the beholder....

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

To Lose My Self

Self.  It is the problem of every temporal man.  By nature we are all "self" oriented.  We are by nature very self-protective.  The basic instinct of man is to survive.  If you look at society around us today, and sadly, much of the church world, selfishness is rampant.  We want to do what we want do, when we want to do it, in the way we want to do it, and we don't want anyone else telling us what, when or how.  We have gone far beyond the survival instinct into a mode where all that matters is what the individual desires.

The muse for this post came from a friend who made a statement that caught my attention in a paper about the problem of suffering in the world.  She was talking about the Buddhist approach to suffering--the four noble truths, which basically acknowledge that suffering does exist and say that it is a result of desire and may be eliminated by eliminating desire.  The "ultimate Buddhist" basically trains himself out of himself by suppressing all desire and focusing on the elimination of self.  This friend, however, made the statement that to eliminate self completely is to do away with "the self that loves as well as the self that hates."

This struck me.  Obviously I am not a Buddhist, but how close is our own teaching to this idea of self-elimination?  As part of the Conservative Holiness Movement, I grew up hearing about the "death route," "dying to self," "dying like an ol' yeller dog," etc., etc.  You get the idea.  Quite honestly, though, these terms are extremely unattractive, and if you take them purely at definition value, you have what looks like an attempt at a shortcut to destination Perfect Buddhist.  Wow...I know...heresy.  But read on; all is not lost.

What, then is the answer?  If we lose our self-identity, do we lose the self that loves as well as the self that hates?  The answer for Buddhism is yes.  It seems to me that the Buddhist attempt at self-eradication is in itself a selfish desire.  This pursuit focuses only on the person.  There is no love for others.  One person feels that they must attain a certain level of spirituality; therefore, they put aside everything and everyone else and focus only on themselves, or rather, eliminating themselves.  While self is eliminated, it is for a selfish purpose...which defeats the purpose.

So what about Christianity?  If we, as Christians, lose our self-identity, do we lose the self that loves as well as the self that hates?  I would be so bold as to say yes.  There is, however, an extremely important nuance that makes all the difference in the world.  We lose our selves for the purpose of gaining Christ.  Paul said,
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  (Galations 2:20 NLT)
See, in reality, our human love is so temporal and self-centered that it really counts for very little anyway.  This is the reason we see so much strife and hatred prevalent in our world today, so much divorce and so many broken families and relationships.  Selfish people cannot love unselfishly.  So it is that even Christians must lose the self that loves along with the self that hates.

The beauty of it is that we lose ourselves so that we may gain Christ.  When that happens we gain His ability to love, which is far greater than any that we could ever have on our own.  It is the love of Christ in us that enables us to love God, our neighbours, friends, family, spouse, children, enemies, etc. as we ought.  Human nature says that I love as long as someone is worthy of that love.  Christ nature says that I love no matter what.  Human nature says that I take care of my needs above anything else.  Christ nature says that I take care of the needs of others first and let Him worry about my needs.

The core idea of the elimination of self is necessary.  The Buddists got that right.  But the problem is that they eliminate self without replacing it with anything.  Christ calls Christians to a "death route," to put it in classic terminology, so that there is space for Him to fill us and flood us with Himself.

I mentioned earlier that some of the familiar terms of the CHM are rather objectionable and hard.  While this is not always bad, perhaps it would be better communicated this way.  Christ calls us to a completely surrender ourselves to Him so that He may break us, remold us, shape us and fill us with Himself.  Though it may be painful at times, when He is done, we will be friends of the Father and images of Christ to the world.

So don't hold back.  Lose yourself.  Lose the self that hates.  It will be freeing.  Lose the self that loves, and find yourself filled with the One who truly loves.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Big Him; little me....

I'm laying on the ground looking up at the stars. It's funny, really, because I had no intention of doing so, but I took a mistep on some stairs and somewhat less than gracefully floundered my way to the ground. Since I was here anyway, I just started looking at the stars and watching the clouds blow and my mind began to wander. Looking at the stars makes me think about how big God is. He created all of these things and keeps them running in order every day. When I catch just that small glimpse of the big picture of who God is, it makes me realize about how small and really insignificant my problems are. The amazing thing is that even as big as God is and as many "major" things as He takes care of, He still recognizes my problems and concerns and takes them on as personal concerns of His. But it makes me think that perhaps they should concern me much less than they do. And it give me a little glimpse into why saints long so much for Heaven--a place where we can finally be truly identified with Who God is and not concerned with earthly things.