On Pain and Love as Related

I saw an interesting post on Facebook. I don't have it in an exact quote here, but the gist of it was that love so often gets blamed for pain, heartache and brokenness when in reality, love is the opposite of all those things.

We end with a broken heart after a relationship and we blame love. We end up hurt after a friend breaks our trust and we blame love. A family breaks apart and the pain that results is blamed on love.

I think I agree with the quote. Now...to those you who know me very well, you know that I've gone through stages of severe cynicism toward love. Part of it was put on and part of it was rooted deep in my heart. But...I begin to see (and this quote opened my eyes in a new way) that real love isn't the cause of pain. Real love is beautiful. Perfect love casts out fear. It's kind. Perfect lovetrue love--never fails.

Sometimes we get hurt because we expect love to fill our emptiness and hopelessness. The problem is that true love is not self-centered, so when we end up disappointed because love has not met our expectations, we blame love and become bitter toward it.

Too often this is because what we experienced was not real love. It was not love that puts the other person first no matter how difficult or inconvenient it may be. The best kind of love is that in which both people are whole-heartedly committed to the good of each other.

May I be so bold as to say (and I don't believe this thought is original with me) that love is not about "give and take." It is, rather, about give...and give...and give more. If two people are dedicated to this, I believe there is a high probability of success in the relationship.

Perhaps I have digressed a bit.... Back to the original thought, love is not pain. The pain often associated with love comes from love rejected, broken, or trampled upon. Love itself is a beautiful gift from God a gift that brings inexplicable happiness and that covers a multitude of shortcomings.

On Pain and Love

I saw an interesting post on Facebook. I don't have it in an exact quote here, but the gist of it was that love so often gets blamed for pain, heartache and brokenness when in reality, love is the opposite of all those things.

We end with a broken heart after a relationship and we blame love. We end up hurt after a friend breaks our trust and we blame love. A family breaks apart and the pain that results is blamed on love.

I think I agree with the quote. Now...to those you who know me very well, you know that I've gone through stages of severe cynicism toward love. Part of it was put on and part of it was rooted deep in my heart. But...I begin to see (and this quote opened my eyes in a new way) that real love isn't the cause of pain. Real love is beautiful. Perfect love casts out fear. It's kind. Perfect lovetrue love--never fails.

Sometimes we get hurt because we expect love to fill our emptiness and hopelessness. The problem is that true love is not self-centered, so when we end up disappointed because love has not met our expectations, we blame love and become bitter toward it.

Too often this is because what we experienced was not real love. It was not love that puts the other person first no matter how difficult or inconvenient it may be. The best kind of love is that in which both people are whole-heartedly committed to the good of each other.

May I be so bold as to say (and I don't believe this thought is original with me) that love is not about "give and take." It is, rather, about give...and give...and give more. If two people are dedicated to this, I believe there is a high probability of success in the relationship.

Perhaps I have digressed a bit. Back to the original thought...it is not love that is painful, but love that is unaccepted, rejected, or trampled upon. Love itself is a beautiful treasure from Goda treasure that hides a multitude of hurts.

Questioning the Moon Man

The moon hung low and orangish in a cloud bescattered sky.
And I felt like it was watching with a droopy-lidded eye.
So knowing it was old, and postulating old meant wise.
I ventured ask a question with no guaranteed replies.

"Mr. Moon," my mind began, "I know you've seen an awful lot.
I mean, you've got the perfect looking down, observing type of spot.
So, have things always been the way they seem inside my thoughts?
Is it just me? Or does this tale fill many a page in many plots?"

Silence was my answer for quite a lengthy while.
And I thought I'd get naught else but a quiet, knowing smile.
But finally a rumbling stir and I knew across the miles
My heart would have it's answer from the Moon Man's ancient files.

"Young man," the Moon Man chuckled in a low and jolly voice,
"Your plight is like to many who embarked in it by choice--
A quandary common to all normal earth-born men and boys.
It's marked, at times, with quietness, at times with warring noise."

I pondered that for quite some time 'til I caught a sudden yawn.
"One last question, Sir," I called, "One more thing before the dawn...."
"Is this journey worth the effort? What of the men who've gone?"
"It's noble," came his answer. "It's noble, Son. Press on...."

A Happy Bit

I have really been enjoying living in general lately. God has blessed me with a job that I'm enjoying, amazing friends that are an encouragement to me on a daily basis, and hope for a future that He controls. The best part is that He has given me a peace that passes understanding. There are some things in life right that I'm not sure about and some that are scary, but I have complete confidence that He is in control. It is a restful path that I walk with God.

On Life, Death and Beauty

Death....  It forces our attention to the irreducible minimality of life--the stark reality that often what we consider important in life is really not important at all.  A confrontation with death awakens us to the fact that the movies we have watched, the music we have listened to, the games we have played, all the things we have done out of a selfish motive have absolutely no value.  Two things become of paramount importance when death faces us.  First, our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Second, the legacy we have left behind.

Death....  Its beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.  For those who squandered their life selfishly and wastefully, death is an ugly monstrosity--a beast to be feared and loathed.  For the Christian who has given his life completely to the Father and has endevoured to live selflessly and circumspectly, death is a beautiful creation.  Not a thing of bondage but a thing that frees us from mortality and introduces us to eternal life with those we love the most, first of whom is Christ, our Saviour.

Death....  It is the final step of our pilgrimage.  It is the vehicle that transports us to our final destination.  That destination is dependent upon the course we have chosen for our lives--essentially selfish or selfless.  In Philippians 3:20 Paul speaks a powerful message to Christians.

But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.  (NLT)

We are citizens of Heaven!  That means that even though death is often portrayed as a thing of power, a thing of loneliness, a thing to be feared, as Christians, we need not fear.  We are citizens of Heaven.  Because of this our hearts may rejoice with Paul when he says,

For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  (I Corinthians 15:53-57 KJV)

There is one last verse in that chapter that is a powerful encouragement and admonition.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.  (I Corinthians 15:58 KJV)

We labor not in vain!  Death has no victory!  The grave will hold only our mortality.

Death....  Its beauty really is in the eye of the beholder....

To Lose My Self

Self.  It is the problem of every temporal man.  By nature we are all "self" oriented.  We are by nature very self-protective.  The basic instinct of man is to survive.  If you look at society around us today, and sadly, much of the church world, selfishness is rampant.  We want to do what we want do, when we want to do it, in the way we want to do it, and we don't want anyone else telling us what, when or how.  We have gone far beyond the survival instinct into a mode where all that matters is what the individual desires.

The muse for this post came from a friend who made a statement that caught my attention in a paper about the problem of suffering in the world.  She was talking about the Buddhist approach to suffering--the four noble truths, which basically acknowledge that suffering does exist and say that it is a result of desire and may be eliminated by eliminating desire.  The "ultimate Buddhist" basically trains himself out of himself by suppressing all desire and focusing on the elimination of self.  This friend, however, made the statement that to eliminate self completely is to do away with "the self that loves as well as the self that hates."

This struck me.  Obviously I am not a Buddhist, but how close is our own teaching to this idea of self-elimination?  As part of the Conservative Holiness Movement, I grew up hearing about the "death route," "dying to self," "dying like an ol' yeller dog," etc., etc.  You get the idea.  Quite honestly, though, these terms are extremely unattractive, and if you take them purely at definition value, you have what looks like an attempt at a shortcut to destination Perfect Buddhist.  Wow...I know...heresy.  But read on; all is not lost.

What, then is the answer?  If we lose our self-identity, do we lose the self that loves as well as the self that hates?  The answer for Buddhism is yes.  It seems to me that the Buddhist attempt at self-eradication is in itself a selfish desire.  This pursuit focuses only on the person.  There is no love for others.  One person feels that they must attain a certain level of spirituality; therefore, they put aside everything and everyone else and focus only on themselves, or rather, eliminating themselves.  While self is eliminated, it is for a selfish purpose...which defeats the purpose.

So what about Christianity?  If we, as Christians, lose our self-identity, do we lose the self that loves as well as the self that hates?  I would be so bold as to say yes.  There is, however, an extremely important nuance that makes all the difference in the world.  We lose our selves for the purpose of gaining Christ.  Paul said,

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  (Galations 2:20 NLT)

See, in reality, our human love is so temporal and self-centered that it really counts for very little anyway.  This is the reason we see so much strife and hatred prevalent in our world today, so much divorce and so many broken families and relationships.  Selfish people cannot love unselfishly.  So it is that even Christians must lose the self that loves along with the self that hates.

The beauty of it is that we lose ourselves so that we may gain Christ.  When that happens we gain His ability to love, which is far greater than any that we could ever have on our own.  It is the love of Christ in us that enables us to love God, our neighbours, friends, family, spouse, children, enemies, etc. as we ought.  Human nature says that I love as long as someone is worthy of that love.  Christ nature says that I love no matter what.  Human nature says that I take care of my needs above anything else.  Christ nature says that I take care of the needs of others first and let Him worry about my needs.

The core idea of the elimination of self is necessary.  The Buddists got that right.  But the problem is that they eliminate self without replacing it with anything.  Christ calls Christians to a "death route," to put it in classic terminology, so that there is space for Him to fill us and flood us with Himself.

I mentioned earlier that some of the familiar terms of the CHM are rather objectionable and hard.  While this is not always bad, perhaps it would be better communicated this way.  Christ calls us to a completely surrender ourselves to Him so that He may break us, remold us, shape us and fill us with Himself.  Though it may be painful at times, when He is done, we will be friends of the Father and images of Christ to the world.

So don't hold back.  Lose yourself.  Lose the self that hates.  It will be freeing.  Lose the self that loves, and find yourself filled with the One who truly loves.

Big Him; little me....

I'm laying on the ground looking up at the stars. It's funny, really, because I had no intention of doing so, but I took a mistep on some stairs and somewhat less than gracefully floundered my way to the ground. Since I was here anyway, I just started looking at the stars and watching the clouds blow and my mind began to wander. Looking at the stars makes me think about how big God is. He created all of these things and keeps them running in order every day. When I catch just that small glimpse of the big picture of who God is, it makes me realize about how small and really insignificant my problems are. The amazing thing is that even as big as God is and as many "major" things as He takes care of, He still recognizes my problems and concerns and takes them on as personal concerns of His. But it makes me think that perhaps they should concern me much less than they do. And it give me a little glimpse into why saints long so much for Heaven--a place where we can finally be truly identified with Who God is and not concerned with earthly things.

Words

Just a simple observation tonight. Words are so important. Obviously words are the primary way we communicate with each other. They are how we express the emotions we feel, the ideas we have, even the basic, everyday things of life. But words are tricky. While they are very effective and necessary to communication, they have a tremendous capability build up or tear down. I have experienced this in my own life on both the giving and receiving ends. I have built up, and I have torn down. I have been built up, and I have been torn down. There are encouraging things that people have said to me, that I still remember. There are things said in simple correction, or observations not even directed at me that still affect the way I act today. There are things people have said from years ago that hurt then and that I still remember today. Those things are healed over with time, but some have scars. There are many verses in Scripture dealing with words. I picked three that communicate the thought well. On the positive side is Proverbs 16:24, which says,

"Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones."

That's a great word picture that illustrates the power of positive words!

On the negative side are a couple of verses later in the same chapter. Verses 27 and 28 say,

"An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire. A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends."

The power of words is incredible. "A whisperer separateth chief friends." It doesn't take a loud person. All it takes is a quiet rumor. And it says that an evil man has fire in his lips.

I have caught myself recently not being as careful with my words as I should be. There is enough talk about words in the Bible that I believe it is extremely important to God; therefore, I want it to be extremely important to me. I want to be a speaker of pleasant words, not someone that tears apart friendships and who people fear because I have "fire" in my lips. It's a funny mental image, but the results are not amusing in the least.

Make a conscious effort this week to build people up with your words!!

A Growing Beauty

There's something quietly strong about nature. Tonight the ocean once again became my muse. It is constantly changing and yet it is always the same.

Tonight started out as a dark evening with a plethora of stars strewn across the sky in complex patterns that God Himself designed and knows. But the "crowning moment" of the evening came when the moon boldly rose up from the darkness of the ocean as an ever-brightening orb of pure, orange beauty. As it rose it cast a path across the water almost to my feet. And if the simple, incredible beauty of the moon was not enough, two shooting stars coursed their flaming trails through my vision.

There two things the made the evening even better than the pure incredibleness (yes, I make up words)of nature. One was the fact the I was with friends. I am so blessed with friends. The ocean was unquestionably amazing tonight. But to share it with friends who enjoy it equally as much, is so much better.

The second thing is that those of us there tonight know the One Who created all of those things. That fact is incredible and adds so much to the experience of the evening. It was almost as if God said throughout the evening, "Oh, you think that was beautiful?! Wait til you see this!" And each thing was successively more amazing. To know that God is so big and powerful the He can create such amazing displays of beauty with no effort at all is to know that He is completely trust-worthy when it comes to my life.

We had to wait for awhile tonight before the moon came up. But when it did come up, it was completely worth the wait. Though I have only lived a relatively short time, I have a deep seated belief that God has a long-term plan for me. I don't know what it is. I can't see the full beauty of the whole picture yet. I don't feel like the "moon has risen" in my life yet. But I believe that as I walk with God, He will guide my walk and shape me into something beautiful so that at the end of my life, people will see an amazing picture of God's incredible grace that will point to Him and glorify Him in the same way that the moonrise did tonight. It's an amazing privilege to be on such an incredible journey with such a powerful, trust-worthy God.

A Brief Musing on Lost Love

'Tis better to have loved and lost, a jilted soul bemused,
Than to sip the burning, hopeless gall of love not once refused.
But that poor soul was a self-made addict to the hope of reborn love.
A fatal drug that dulls all sense of when too much is enough.
Sub-consciously they wait for love to bud from dying roots,
Acquiesced to blissful bitterness; unmindful of the truth.

Reality is real my friend, and things thought true are not.
Be not fooled by those who revel in love's ugly, severed knot.
Bitter is still bitter, though acquired taste for some.
And unlove is still better than the opposite of numb.
For broken hearts will never heal to their pre-enraptured state.
And sometimes heal to open wounds disguised by iron plates.

A New Chapter

This summer seems to me to have added several chapters to the story of my life. It has been a bit of a strange summer, but also a very good summer. I have enjoyed every part of it overall. There were some pretty stressful times and some things that were not as enjoyable, but overall, it was great.

Taiwan was a major chapter of my life. It definitely stands alone as its own chapter without question. It was a life-changing experience, and one that I do not believe I will soon forget. It had some intense moments of real-worldness, many moments of fun, and new acquaintances and friends that had a great influence on my life. For me, a visit to a place like Taiwan humbles a bit of my American prejudice and bias. It opened my eyes a little bit to how closed-minded I am at times. I began to see even better that in reality, all men are created equal. Everyone has a story to tell, something to contribute, something to teach me if I am willing to learn. It's a humbling and incredible realization.

Another chapter separate from Taiwan was my almost two weeks at home. It was a bit different than some previous trips home because my grandma was living with us and my oldest sister was gone. It was weird for my sister to be gone. I'm used to being the only one gone, and that was not the case this time. Then, my grandma is not doing very well physically and that is hard, too. It's even harder because I know it's hard on my parents. I greatly enjoyed being home. It was a good time, even though it, too, had stressful parts. It was hard to leave. It almost seemed harder than some times in the past. I think part of that was because I felt like I could be useful at home, and maybe part of it was because I haven't spent much time at home because I didn't go home at the beginning of summer like I usually do. The other reason that I think is probably a big part of it is that every time I leave home, I know that I am getting closer to it not being "home" so to speak. Oh, there'll always be a certain extent to which wherever Mom and Dad are is "home" I think, but I've pretty well moved out and home is becoming more and more where I am and not where they are. I don't like to think about it, but it's a part of growing up I guess. Just not part that I particularly like. Even though I don't mind being on my own, it's a bit of an insecure feeling. All is well, though.

The last chapter of my summer was traveling with one of the mixed trios from the school. It was overall a very enjoyable experience and brought back a lot of memories. They were a fun bunch to travel with and really let me feel a part of the group. I was a little nervous going into it because I was trying to fill the role of a sponsor, which I had never done in that fashion before, but the Lord helped them and me and the summer finished well I felt.

And now...tomorrow begins the next chapter of my life.... The chapter in which I am the Student Recruiter for Hobe Sound Bible College. I am excited, nervous...etc. I think it is going to be a good year. I am excited about that fact. I am nervous because I really want to do my job well and contribute much to the department. I don't just want to do my job; I want to make a difference. And that is not something happens very often by just doing the bare minimum. It takes hard work, dedication, and Spirit leadership. I want to be used. I sense that God wants me to be the change that I have desired to see. That is scary and exciting as well. I am hopeful for the future of the college if we will really let God have His way.

So tomorrow it begins. I appreciate the prayers of any who think of me. I am not enough on my own, but I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. Amen.

These Times of Life

I still say it's a weird time of life. Call it my personality, call me strange...oe whatever else comes to mind, but life feels weird right now. I'm about to hit the road for a week and a half with one of the PR groups and it feels weird. I know what to do.... This what I did for three years, and it's somewhat what I've signed up to do again all year long. But it feels weird. I'm gonna go out there and have fun. I almost always do. And I'll see old friends and we'll have good times. But...going into it is interesting. And coming back to work here feels a little weird. I don't have any other brilliant plans, but I feel something. Probably the school year will start and the feelings will away. Maybe. Just keep pressing on. It usually works. It's dangerous to trust feelings too far.

It's almost time to go. Until later....

P.S.

I've now corrected the spelling/grammar errors in my last blog.... Writing on my phone takes some getting used to as it's all touch screen. Still no excuse for the amount of errors I had.... Ha! Fun times.

My Droid

So I got a Droid. I've kinda wanted a smartphone for awhile, but didn't want put up the money for one. I finally did, though. I wanted one for my job this next year. I figured I would need a phone with a good calendar on it, and I thought it would be nice to have internet because I probably won't have internet at home and it'll be nice to have something if I'm traveling. Anyway, all that to say that I got a Droid. I was actually planning on waiting until later in the year to get one after I have a more steady income, but Verizon was changing their data plans and I wanted to get in before they changed them too much. I figured I would be a pretty heavy user and I was right. Ha. I use a lot of data and I didn't really want to have to worry about going over my usage.

I got the Samsung Droid Charge. It's the best 4G phone Verizon has right now. That will soon change, but I really like this phone. I'm very much enjoying what it can do. It's way nicer than any phone I've ever had. I really enjoy having the data on it, too. I use it a lot. I think it's going to be well worth the cost.

Enough for now. I'm writing on the phone. It's pretty fast, but I still feel done. Haha. I recommend Samsung!!

A Prayer

Oh, purify the dross within.

Cleanse my heart from bent to sin.

Let my in-turned eyes turn out,

My ears be tuned to needy shout.

I see so much of me these days,

But more and more I want to pray

That I would disappear in You,

That mind and heart would be true through.

For people need me worse than me,

Yet need not I, but only He.

Begging love with loving eyes,

To love them back is my desire.

That nothing selfish, impure, unholy,

Would make the flow of love run slowly.

That I'd invest my too-few years

In more than just regretful tears.

A desperate feel grasps passing time;

A futile sense to even try.

But try I must, for even one

That finds the solace of the Son

Is worth all sorrowful sin refused

All hurtful, selfish pride that's bruised.

"I'm not my own!" This all my thought,

That with the blood of Christ I'm bought.

My mind consume with this staunch motto

That always, only will I follow

The One Who gave up all for me,

So I could give up all for He.

Christ, focus my passions truly, fully,

On a lofty aim that's holy.

Dissatisfy my heart with average;

Transform my world into Your image.

Then, may your world consume my world.

Your high and holy banner unfurled

Above a heart that you have claimed,

That solely bears your precious name.

Not marked by sin, or stain, or dross,

But only by the Saviour's Cross.

When Time Changes Things....

There was a day in my life not that long ago when I would have assured you that Taiwan would never be a part of my life.  It was so foreign….  So unlike anything that I've ever known.  It was place I had only heard of…almost a dreamland that seemed unreal.  It was a place that people I knew had been, but not somewhere I even wanted to go.  If you had asked me two years ago if I would ever spend an extended amount of time in Taiwan, my answer would have been no.  Well, let me rephrase that….  I would have said, "If God wants me to."  Or something along that line.  I had no plans whatsoever to ever do anything more than visit Taiwan, if that.

And now…I've been here.  I actually came.  Let me offer some contrasts.  I didn't know if I would like the food….  There is lots of good Chinese food, and American food is easily accessible.  Plus, I'm actually decently good at chopsticks. :)  And I love the philosophy they have about food: "Get it in your mouth!"  I can't understand the language.  This one is tough…because it's true.  But while Chinese is a hard language, I've already started picking up bits and pieces and understanding the foundational things that would allow me to learn the language.  Plus, a lot of people here speak at least enough English that I can usually get by. Another thing that would have made me think that I couldn't live here: the culture.  From my American perspective, the culture is so drastically different, especially having never been here.  But now that I have actually been here, I see beauty in the differences.  Are there things that would bug me about it, or be hard for me?  Yes…naturally, but there's things that bug me about American culture.  It's a part of life.  The culture here has an intense, mystical beauty that has been well-refined by thousands of years that passed long before U.S. culture even began to develop.  There is a respect for people and a professionalism that is seriously attractive.  It is something that is missing in our hustling, bustling, self-absorbed American culture.

There are some real differences; some of them would be hard to adjust to, but the people here, especially a group of kids at Chi-Ming's school, have stolen my heart.  And when I got to tell them about my Superhero, Jesus, it made me want to stay even more.  I only got to share a little bit.  I only got five days with that class…and in five days, we connected.  I hate the fact that I'm leaving them.  The teaching stresses me out because of the preparation…but I love being a part of their lives.  They are so eager to learn.  They are so appreciative and polite.  They are so respectful and helpful.  They are so easy to love….

I have only two days left in this country.  I will miss it.  The feeling that I would never want to spend time here is gone.  I could be wrong, but I think there will always be a place in my heart for Taiwan.  I hope that someday in the not-too-distant future, I will be able to come back and be a part of it again.  I don't even want to think about the fact that I'm leaving.  I'm excited to go home; I'm ready to go home, but going home means leaving people I have come to love here.

Taiwan, I will miss you.  People of Taiwan, I will miss you more.  Thank you for an amazing experience.  You have changed my life and have taught me far more than I taught you.  Perhaps someday, if God wills it, I will come back…for more than just a month….

To Whom It May Concern

You may see me as young, rash, hot-headed, and impulsive—a young man who can't see clearly because of my youth and who doesn't think before he acts.  You may see me as a threat to what you know as truth, a counter to your carefulness, a rebel against righteousness.  You may think I dilute definites, circumvent concretes, and promote post-modern thinking.  You may think I trade standards for status quo, simplicity for satisfaction, and self-denial for selfish pleasure.  You seem to notice that I don't walk your way and miss the fact that I walk His way, that my beliefs differ from your beliefs but do not disagree with His truth, that my lifestyle is more "liberal" than yours but not more liberal than His Word.  Assume not that my youth implies rash, thought-less actions and philosophies.  Assume, rather that my one greatest desire is to know Him even as also I am known.  Assume not that I desire to destroy truth, but rather that I desire to sift it to its purest form and live and present it as such.  Do not force me into your mold, but rather, help me shape my mold as Christ would have it shaped.  Do not attack my views and philosophies, but rather use the wisdom of your years to guide my thoughts in Godly paths.  Confront me, but do not condemn me.  Guide me, but do not guilt-trip me.  Mold me, but do not manipulate me.  Do not forget that that you, too, were once at this place of decision where relationship with Christ became a love affair of choice rather than a lifestyle standard of obligation. Study me.  Do not assume that I think as you do.  I respect your wisdom, but only if you show that you have wisdom.  I'll give you a chance; please don't waste it.  My youth may limit my wisdom, but it increases my openness to new ideas.  Do not present new ideas as fact unless you can back them up with fact; then, I am forced to deal with fact, and not someone's interpretation that I can write off as flawed.  Please understand: I desire not rebellion but true righteousness, not to reflect an image but to be an image, not to renounce the truth but to revive the truth.  I desire not to release my heritage, but to revolutionize my future.  Do not confine me in your man-made nest; teach me to fly borne on the God-made winds of truth.

How Deep The Father's Love for Us

This song is my testimony tonight.  Just a little bit ago a friend reminded me of Ephesians 3:19, which goes right along with the words of this song.  It says,

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."  (NLT)

How deep the Father's love for us....

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Fear in the Waves

Tonight the ocean reminded me of fear.  It even made me feel a little fearful.  It was dark and the waves were strange—restless, crashing, strong, sudden.  There was an unrest to the ocean that was a bit un-nerving.

It also reminded me of hope.  Several times tonight the ocean came shooting up onto the shore unexpectedly resulting in far more wetness than I had originally intended.  This reminds me of hope because I think of God reaching out to sinners…people standing on the edges who are scared to get their feet wet, or to people who are standing in the water but are torn between full commitment and enjoying the pleasures of sin.

There was a beauty in the fear.  The ocean seemed frustrated, desperate and restless.  This coupled with the darkness and knowledge of the power and magnitude of the ocean's waters was enough to spark a bit of fear in my heart. 

But I thought of the fear a sinner has when he comes to the realization that he resisting God.  There is a fear—a good fear—that comes when you realize how powerful and holy and pure and good God is and how dirty and selfish and ugly you are.  There is fear on two parts.  One: because you know that you don't deserve to  live  in the presence of One so amazing and God could kill you at any time.  Two: because you know that if you choose to live in the presence of this Awesome God, you will have to give up everything that is comfortable and familiar to you.  You will become a citizen of Heaven rather than a citizen of earth, and the things of earth must grow strangely dim if He is to take His proper place.  That is no small thing with which to come to grips.

The restlessness of the ocean reminded me of how God is constantly reaching out to us out of His love, even though He is constantly rejected by men.  If you think about it as a person, when you reach out to someone, you like to see them accept whatever you are doing for them.  You don't like to be rejected.  I have never met God, but I sense that sometimes He must feel like we do when someone won't take something that we've gotten for them.  Especially when we've paid for it with our most prized possession. 

I don't know, but I sense that God must feel a bit of restless desperation at times as people walk on and on rejecting Him.  Perhaps He longs to reach out past the limits under which He has placed Himself that keep Him from forcing men to serve Him.

Fear of commitment, God's longing to know us, hope, restless energy—it was an interesting night at the ocean.

Observing

It's been a weird couple of days.  The main reason is because I've never spent this much time here after school was out to see how quiet it gets.  The quiet doesn't bother me, though.  I like quiet and aloneness.  After a semester of being with people almost all the time (or at least always having people around) I enjoy time to myself when I don't have to worry about other people being around.  So…it's not the quiet really that makes me feel the way I do right now. 

I miss people.  I know…I just said that the quiet doesn't bother me, and it really doesn't.  No, what I miss are those close friends that make this place a good place to be.  I like Hobe Sound, but what makes really good is my friends—my second family.  So now, with my friends gone, it's as though a part of my family left. 

Part of it, too, is that I know things will never be quite the same again.  10:15ish rolls around and I think about how if it were during the school year, I could run over to girls dorm to see if anything was going on, or grab a cup of coffee with a couple people, or maybe even just work on a paper, but with the knowledge that tomorrow I'd see my friends.  I don't have the school schedule of next semester to look forward to. 

I know.  One is not supposed to miss school.  But I'm going to miss a lot of aspects of school.  Not just the work, though there are parts of that that I will probably miss.  I will miss most the constant interaction with my peers.  And I hope that next year won't change too much, even though I won't be in school and I won't be in the dorm anymore. 

Anyway, enough melancholy rambling for tonight.  Life is good.  And tomorrow I go to celebrate the marriage of two of my friends. :)  So many happy melancholy times lately….

Come As You Are

Louder than the voice

that whispers you're unworthy.

Hear the sound of love

that tells a different story,

Shattering your darkness

and pushing through the lies.

How tenderly he calls you, 

His arms are open wide.

You can come as you are, 

with all your broken pieces 

And all your shameful scars.

The pain you hold in your heart, 

bring it all to Jesus.

You can come as you are.

Taken from "Come As You Are" by Pocket Full of Rocks

Tonight's the Night

It's 6:00 pm on Friday night, May 20, 2011.  In approximately an hour I will take the first step of march that will take me to the end of one chapter of life and the start of another.  It feels like a churn inside my heart as I look forward to next year and the rest of my life with excitement, but there are also twinges of sadness, premonitions of missing my friends, and bits of fear at the unknown.  I'm ready to graduate.  But I'm not ready to graduate.  I'm excited, and I wouldn't trade it, but there is also that part of me that rebels at change.  As I walk across the platform, I will be marking change in my life in a definite and final way.  Will there be better chapters?  Most likely.  Would I stop the change if I could?  I don't believe so.  It's necessary.  But it's change…and change is change.  Enough said.

It's an interesting thought that one event can have so much impact in the life of a person.  No longer do I have the security blanket of a school schedule next year.  Things are not so solid anymore.  No longer will I have the safety of school rules and rule enforcers.  Oh, there will still be rules; there will still be people to enforce them, but it's going to be on a different level.  I'm going to walk across a platform where they will say that Douglas Wiseman has completed the requirements necessary to graduate with his degree…and now I’m ready to meet the world!  Or…that's what we all act like.  But everyone who has passed this step, and all of us who have not yet passed it, know, if we are truly honest with ourselves, that simply taking four years of school and completing the requirements do not make you ready for life.  No….  If we are all completely honest, I think we realize that now is where the real learning begins.  And the classroom of life is a far more harsh teacher than Mr. Jones or Pastor Gordeuk, Dr. Kaufman or Dr. McElwain.  Now is where the rubber meets the road.  This is where we realize that college wasn't so much about giving you all the answers for life as about teaching you how to find the answers to the questions that arise.

So now, I must pack the last four years of my life into a box labeled, "Hobe Sound Bible College Fall 2007 - Spring 2011; Bachelor in Missions with a minor in TESOL."  Memories must be laid to rest as memories.  Life must go on…and I sense this is only the beginning of times like this.  Bittersweet times where memories are accepted as such and the next stage of life is approached with vigor and vim!

To my friends…you have had such a tremendous impact on my life.  Thank you, to each of you.  I love you. Some of you are almost like family to me.

To my family…I love you.  Period.  I cannot even begin to express my thanks for your support through all of these years.  Thank you…thank you…thank you.  I love you far more than you know.

To my God.  I bow my heart before You, for without You, I would not exist in useful fashion.  Thank you.  All the glory of this night is Yours from the beginning.  It is not I, but You, O Christ.  I love You!

And now, graduation awaits!  Tonight I will be smiling—a real smile, for it is a time of joy.  But the melancholy part of me will be alive and functioning as well.  It will be a wonderful bittersweet mix…. Let's do it!

Always Amazing

The ocean never ceases to amaze me.  Most of the time it amazes me because it reminds me of some aspect of God.  Today, as I visited for the first time in awhile, it reminded me of how dependable God is.  

Every time I go to the ocean, it's still there doing what it's always done.  Sometimes it moves powerfully; sometimes it's subdued, but it's always moving.  Waves roll continually on the shore.  The way it expresses itself changes; sometimes it looks different—has different colors, different waves, different currents…but it's still the same ocean, doing the same things its always done.

God is a lot like that.  No matter how many generation pass, no matter how much people change or cultures change or standards change, no matter how much people try to deny God or make Him fit their box, GOD NEVER CHANGES.  Sometimes He looks different.  He expresses Himself to different people in different ways—that's why it's called a personal relationship.  Sometime He moves powerfully, sometimes He's like the smooth ocean with its quiet, gentle waves.  Sometimes He shows His power; always He shows His love.  No matter how He expresses Himself, He's always there, and He's always the same God doing the same things He's always done.  My God never ceases to amaze me….

The Things I Miss

It's amazing how much you miss when you aren't at home for most of the year.  The "for instance" that brings on this post is watching the videos of my "little" brother and sister playing their recital pieces.  They are SO GOOD!  And I've missed a lot of that progress.  My little brother had barely played at all when I left…if he had played at all.  I know it wasn't much.  Now he's playing like a natural!  My little sister has been good for a long time, but wow…she has improved so much!  She plays with passion and feeling that she hasn't always had.  It's really cool to see…and kind of sad to know that I've missed it.  But I'm proud of them…real proud of them….  =)

Face to Face With Faith

Tonight I was brought face to face with faith in a very real way.  It is easy for me to say that I put my faith in God, but there are some things about my very near future that are very uncertain at this point.  Without going into a lot of detail, suffice it to say that I am going into this next year knowing full well that I may very well be trusting God for some of the basics of life.  The job that I am taking is not lucrative.  I know that going into it, and I am fine with that.  I'm not looking for a job that makes me lots of money; I'm looking to do whatever work God has for me.  But part of me rose up tonight and said that I should lay certain conditions and senarios before my employers and say that if they aren't met, I'll have to do something else.  Obviously I have to have money for the very basic things of life, right?  I have to have housing, food, etc. 

But then suddenly I knew….  No.  I will make no such demands.  I serve Jehovah-Jireh—the Lord Will Provide!  It was Christ Himself Who said,

"So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink?  What will we wear?'  These things dominate the thoughts of unblievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."  (Matthew 6:31-34)

I am not afraid.  I am resting in Him to provide everything that I need.  He knows best.  It is such a feeling of peace to be able to go into this next year knowing that I will be doing what He wants me to do and that He will be providing for me while I do it.

To Know Christ....

My heart is so full tonight at the awesomeness of God. I have been impressed strongly just in the last couple of days by the incredible personal relationship I can have with my Heavenly Father.  I can truly call Him "Father" and know that He hears me as a father.  I can truly bring anything before Him as a son.  Because of Christ, I am a son of God.  It is not because I am anything or because I deserve to be His son, but because I have the incredible privilege of placing my full faith in Christ knowing that because of Him, I have power to become a son of God.

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.  (John 1:12 KJV)

My heart cries out tonight to know Christ, not just know about Him, but to KNOW Him—to experience Him in my life. I want to lose myself.  I want to give up everything I am for the incredible honor of knowing Him.  I cry along with the Apostle Paul:

Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him.  I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.  For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith.  I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead.  I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!  (Philippians 3:8-11 NLT)

Oh, that I could know Him.  I have a deep longing inside to follow Paul's plea:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.  (Romans 12:1-2 KJV)

I want to be transformed.  I want to "count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord…."  (the KJV of Philippians 3:8a)  I want to know Christ and give up who I am so that He can fill me and possess every iota of who I am.  I want to live as a citizen of Heaven and  think on the things of Heaven.  (Philippians 3:20 & Colossians 3:1-4)

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand.  Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.  For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.  And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.  (Colossians 3:1-4 NLT)

I want to be free of myself—to surrender my right to myself and take up my right to be a son of God.  I want to tell others of the freedom there is in Christ.  Paul also said:

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.  Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ.  That is why I am here in chains.  Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should.  Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.  (Colossians 4:2-6)

I'm so excited….  God is moving….  He's working in the lives people here and there, and I sense that power is about to be unleashed that I have never seen in my lifetime if I...if we will only listen…if we...will only hear the heartcry of our Father….

Change

It happens.  All the time.  Sometimes just when things seem to have finally returned to normal.  Sometimes when things are at rock bottom.  Sometimes for the better.  Sometimes for the worse.  Change.  It is that inevitable, unavoidable consequence of being alive.  In some senses it is change that gives us desire to live because we are always trying to gain something better or are anticipating the next thing in life.  Change.  It is comfort's fiend that calls us to the next stage of life—or sometimes jerks us, or shoves us, or drags us kicking and screaming.  There is no profit in resistance.  It is change.  It is inevitable.

I have painted change in a very negative light.  Indeed it feels very negative at times.  Sometimes it hurts on a personal level, or it pulls us out of our comfort zone, or it takes something or someone from us who we love, but I like the words of John F. Kennedy who said, "Change is the law of life.  And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

It is true.  To live in the past is to deny God's work in and through my life in the present.  And to demand that things in the present remain the same is to assume that God has nothing better for me in the future—to say that at the age of 22 God has already shown me the best He has and has used me in all the ways He desires to use me.  I think not.  Yes, I will remember the past so full of many fond memories.  Yes, I will live the present to fullest and do my best to enjoy every moment.  But no, I will not deny the change required to move into the future with God.

Indescribable

I have a song recommendation.  You should listen to Indescribable by Christ Tomlin.  The song is one that is fairly familiar to me, but last night I heard something in it that I don't ever remember noticing before.  On Friday night I was talking with a couple of friends, and it was mentioned how much God loves us and how a passionate love relationship with God should be the basis for everything else in our lives—from our relationship with God to the principles that and rules that we follow in our own lives.

  We all know that I think.  That's the idea that we often promote, but I'm afraid we often miss that concept.  I know I do.  But last night I was just doing some stuff on my computer, when Indescribable came on Pandora.  I don't even really remember noticing very much of the song until the second-to-last line sank into my consciousness.

You see the depths of my heart, and You love me the same. You are amazing God.

I went and bought the song and looked up the lyrics because it was truly an epic thought.  All of the rest of the song talks about how amazing God is because He is so powerful, and strong, and omnipotent.  He controls the stars and the lightening bolts.  Creation reveals His majesty. 

Another line of the song says, "Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim, 'You are amazing God.'"  It is a thought far too infinite and intangible for my mind to comprehend that the indescribable, uncontainable, all-powerful, untameable, incomparable, unchangeable God would even deign to recognize us, to recognize me, humbly bowing before Him, groveling in a sense as  I realize my suffocating unworthiness  to be in His presence or even to say His name.  But a far greater thought is this: God does not love me because of anything I have or have not done or anything I will or will not do.  He does not love me because of anything I can do for Him.  He does not love me because I can defend Him or protect Him.  Why does He love a wretch like me?  This I cannot explain, yet He sees the depths of my heart—the imperfections ,the battles, the failures, the wounds, the brokenness, the hopeless inability to make myself good enough and somehow…by some power or love that I cannot begin to comprehend He loves me the same.  His love for me is not diminished.  He doesn't write me off as worthless.  He, Creator God, God of All Power, loves me.  I am humbled at the thought.  I cannot explain why One so great would love one so insignificant.  But He does.  This I know...

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  (John 3:16)

Hallelujah!

The Times I'll Remember

There are a lot of good things about being in college.  I've made a ton of great friends and great memories with those friends.  I've sat in good classes learning good things from good people.  I've ministered across the United States singing and interacting with people.  I've ministered locally and I've gotten to travel and will still be doing more traveling around the world.  It has been a good thing.  But of all the things I'll remember from college, I think the time I've spent with friends will be one of the things I treasure most and miss most.  That and the times when God draws especially close whether in class, chapel, prayer meeting, or just some moment by myself.

I have come to realize in my time at school that school is about far more than just academics and a good GPA.  I like to have a good GPA.  That's important to me.  But in a few years, most likely my GPA really isn't going to be that big of deal to me.  But if I have taken time to develop friendships that will last a lifetime and spend time with people making memories that will last a lifetime, it is those moments, those events, those conversations, those times of building relationships and interacting that I will look back on with fondness in years to come.  In that last couple of semesters I've tried to work on spending more time with people because I know that's very important to the college experience.  Social life can be overdone, but at the same time, we are social beings.  Not only have I had a lot of fun with friends as I have spent time with them, but I have been challenged, uplifted, encouraged, convicted, etc.

Thank you, to all of you who have been my friends.  You have had a part in making me who I am and who I will be.

Of Forging Paths Through Mailboxes

You would think, with all the space there is on campus to drive my golf cart, that I would be able to avoid driving through space occupied by mailboxes....

On the Moon Man's Wink

A darkened dome loomed lacking luster

Sooty and subdued.

Long lines of lights lit lifeless lane.

Obscuring deafening doom.

Here and there the chatters chattered

Not stopping once to think

Of the Moon-Man's solemn sackcloth

And his well-intentioned wink.

With carefree gait a runner ran

Perpetually perturbed.

A doggy dogged a dogged path

His master daft, disturbed.

On these bruisers brashly blundered

Not stopping once to think

Of the Moon-Man's solemn sackcloth

And his well-intentioned wink.

A single solemn solo slowed

And laughter left loose lips.

Lovebirds sang sweet simple sonnets

and wished to stay time's ships.

All these benefiting boldy

But not stopping once to think

Of the Moon-Man's solemn sackcloth

And his well-intentioned wink.

Dimly daring with a sliver

To offer only ochre

A paradigm to paltry pawns

Who live lives just as jokers.

Sufficient in themselves they thought

Not stopping once to think

Of the Moon-Man's solemn sackcloth

And his well-intentioned wink.

Inspired by the moon tonight.  It was winking at anyone who would take minute to notice.

The Peace of Power

I got to visit the ocean again this morning after an early-morning jog with a friend.  It was calm today.  I love the moods of the ocean.  Sometimes the waves come crashing in and go far up the beach.  Sometimes the waves crest smoothly and scoop up the shoreline.  Today, the waves were small and the ocean almost had a glassy look.  I could see far out over the ocean to the distance horizon with a bank of clouds.  When I first got there, the sun had not yet risen and there were gorgeous bands of blue, purple, and pink.  As the sun rose over the cloud bank the colors became more vivid and began to change into oranges and yellows.  Then the sun began to peek boldly over the top of the clouds…the dawn of a new day—a day with potential for great good if I surrender myself into the hands of my Heavenly Father.

This morning was so peaceful and quiet (minus the annoying four-wheeler that destroyed the peace for awhile.  Ha!)  It was re-assuring, though, to think that everything is in the hands of a God who brings the new day into existence with such peace and tranquility—no strain or stress.  If we humans were even capable of putting on such a lovely production, can you imagine the massive stress, preparation, scurry, rush, frustration, and practice that we would have to put into one sunrise?  The light has to be just right; someone has to coordinate the waves; someone has to make sure the half-moon is in just the right place; someone has to make sure the colors change as they are supposed to; the sun has to come up at just the right rate; someone has to scatter the hundreds of shells on the shore…and who knows what else....  And that is only for my little section of the beach.  Yet all night long, God kept the world spinning and the planets in order; He kept everything running perfectly and the sun came up this morning with no great rush, no stress, no perspiration, no headache, no effort.

God is awesome.  I'm glad that it is He that I trust with my life.  I'm glad that I can let Him control all the details instead of trying to keep track of everything myself.  In a world that seems like it turning upside-down sometimes, it's so comforting and reassuring to know that God has everything under control without any stress or strain.  It's a wonderful feeling of peace...kind of like a glassy ocean with gentle waves splashing on the shoreline and beam of brilliant sunlight shining across the surface….

Trust....

Today is a busy day.  I just got back to my room from lunch.  Between now and 9:00 tonight, I have to set up the choir sound system, make sure we have everything for choir tour, tear it all back down, and make sure that it's packed for tour, do laundry, pack completely except for my carry-on, and I really need to do some homework.  It's hard to believe that choir tour is here already.  Tomorrow morning I have to take someone to the airport at 9:30 and the choir meets to leave at 12:30.  Like I said, it's busy, but I like it that way, and I'm excited for tour.

The reason for this post, though, is just to share an answer to prayer that happened this morning that was really special to me and encouraged me in trusting God.  There was a job I did awhile back for which I was supposed to get paid, but I had not gotten the money.  I was really wishing that I could have the money for choir tour, but I really didn't want to ask for it.  I believe it was just this morning that I was talking to God about it, an d telling Him that I needed the money.  I think it was last night I simply explained to Him that I had done this work but I didn't want to ask for the money.  I decided just to leave it up to Him.  I checked my mail this morning hoping that maybe the check would come, but it wasn't in my box.  After chapel I was walking with a couple of friends over to the ad building and met the guy who was supposed to pay me for the work I had done.  You probably have guessed it by now.  =)  He held out an envelope and said he was on the way to the post office, but since I was there he'd just give me it there.  When I opened the envelope a couple of minutes later, there was twice as much money as I expected, and it was in cash so I don't have to deal with cashing a check when I don't have time to go to the bank.

God is so good.  I have experienced His provision before, but this was especially special to me because I had pretty well resigned myself to not having the money before tour or maybe even at all and left it in God's hands.  It wasn't even a huge amount of money, but it was a boost to my faith and my confidence in God's ability and faithfulness to provide. 

I have been praying along with some friends about some specific things as well.  Answers to prayer like this give me even more confidence that God hears, cares, and will answer in His time.  We must simply trust these things to Him and wait on His timing.

"So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat?  What will we drink?  What will we wear?'  these things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."  (Matthew 6:31-33 NLT)

Epic Win! ...And Fail.... All in One!

So…have you ever done something and felt like it was an epic win!  …and an epic fail all at once?  I did just today.  What I did made me happy!  But I was like…wow…that was a fail…I could have done it so much better….  Oh well.  Life goes on I guess.  In the long run, it was good!  :)  And I’m happy about it!

Thou Wilt Find a Solace There

Tonight is one of those nights when things feel a bit overwhelming.  It's a whole realm of things from very personal to international.  From battles I don't know how to fight, to decisions I don't know how to make, to friends that are hurting from choices they've made and choices others have made, to situations over which I have no control but over which I would like to have control, to people that are bound in sin's chains and are destroying their lives, to wars and rumors of wars all over the earth, to earthquakes in random places all over the world, to a nuclear plant that could in a moment change the way we all live life for the rest of time….

It is in times like these that I long to go home.  Not home here on earth, for there is no place here on earth that can truly be home when things are so uncertain on a global level.  No, I long to go a place far from here, yet not so far from here.  A place where there is peace…forever.  A place where the presence of God is the dominating, all-consuming, all-satisfying focus.  A place where everything that has ever happened here fades in the light of eternity....

Tonight I find solace in God alone—in the fullness of Who He is.  The Trinity—holy, pure, everything I need, and in His Word—the unchanging, infallible, powerful Word of God, which shall not return unto Him void.

Re-thinking Old Thoughts in a New Way

Welcome Week has come. It starts officially tomorrow. A few kids are already here. I've been busy trying to get things together to represent Missions, TESOL, and Student Government.

The reason for the title of this post is that during Gospels class tonight, a discussion came up about carnal traits and the "fix" for them--sanctification. Suddenly I was struck by a thought...or probably more than one. I don't want to share tonight. It's way too late. Suffice it to say, I've started my own little study and hope to continue it soon in some depth.

Fasting Facebook

I deactivated my Facebook account at 12:00 a.m. this morning.  The idea is to leave it thus until the end of Lent...40 days from now....  That will be the longest I have gone without Facebook consecutively since...well, probably since I joined Facebook.  I think it will be good for me.  I spend way too much time on there.  And while I've gotten better about not wasting so much time on there, I still spend too much.  Forty days is enough to work something out of one's habit system.  We'll see if it works.

Honestly, I don't care about Lent.  I just think it's a good time to fast something(s) in order to focus more on God.  Fasting is Biblical, and I think God honors it.  :)  Enough said.  Day one has begun!

A Tale of Two Paths

This is what my life looks like right now from my perspective.  I can see enough to know that I have two paths.  I can see enough to know that both paths look interesting.  But I cannot see enough to know which path I should take or where each path will end.  I can only guess.  It's hard to make a decision when there is no clear path.  That's where trust in God's ever-present, unchanging faithfulness comes in.

This changes the perspective, and it is this to which I cling.  It is the same two paths, but now there is something clear in the picture—something upon which I can depend.  The Word of God and the leadership of the Spirit will show me the way.  I have no other hope.  Outside of this, the decision will be made in my own power influenced by my own emotions and desires.  This must not be.  I find my light and my strength in the Lord.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"  (Psalms 27:1)