It's 6:00 pm on Friday night, May 20, 2011. In approximately an hour I will take the first step of march that will take me to the end of one chapter of life and the start of another. It feels like a churn inside my heart as I look forward to next year and the rest of my life with excitement, but there are also twinges of sadness, premonitions of missing my friends, and bits of fear at the unknown. I'm ready to graduate. But I'm not ready to graduate. I'm excited, and I wouldn't trade it, but there is also that part of me that rebels at change. As I walk across the platform, I will be marking change in my life in a definite and final way. Will there be better chapters? Most likely. Would I stop the change if I could? I don't believe so. It's necessary. But it's change…and change is change. Enough said.
It's an interesting thought that one event can have so much impact in the life of a person. No longer do I have the security blanket of a school schedule next year. Things are not so solid anymore. No longer will I have the safety of school rules and rule enforcers. Oh, there will still be rules; there will still be people to enforce them, but it's going to be on a different level. I'm going to walk across a platform where they will say that Douglas Wiseman has completed the requirements necessary to graduate with his degree…and now I’m ready to meet the world! Or…that's what we all act like. But everyone who has passed this step, and all of us who have not yet passed it, know, if we are truly honest with ourselves, that simply taking four years of school and completing the requirements do not make you ready for life. No…. If we are all completely honest, I think we realize that now is where the real learning begins. And the classroom of life is a far more harsh teacher than Mr. Jones or Pastor Gordeuk, Dr. Kaufman or Dr. McElwain. Now is where the rubber meets the road. This is where we realize that college wasn't so much about giving you all the answers for life as about teaching you how to find the answers to the questions that arise.
So now, I must pack the last four years of my life into a box labeled, "Hobe Sound Bible College Fall 2007 - Spring 2011; Bachelor in Missions with a minor in TESOL." Memories must be laid to rest as memories. Life must go on…and I sense this is only the beginning of times like this. Bittersweet times where memories are accepted as such and the next stage of life is approached with vigor and vim!
To my friends…you have had such a tremendous impact on my life. Thank you, to each of you. I love you. Some of you are almost like family to me.
To my family…I love you. Period. I cannot even begin to express my thanks for your support through all of these years. Thank you…thank you…thank you. I love you far more than you know.
To my God. I bow my heart before You, for without You, I would not exist in useful fashion. Thank you. All the glory of this night is Yours from the beginning. It is not I, but You, O Christ. I love You!
And now, graduation awaits! Tonight I will be smiling—a real smile, for it is a time of joy. But the melancholy part of me will be alive and functioning as well. It will be a wonderful bittersweet mix…. Let's do it!
Well said Doug. It is a special and sad time. And life can be a bit scary outside the four protective walls of school, but with each opportunity that comes your way, if you just pray and seek Gods face, it will become clear. It was an odd feeling to be done, for sure! It's just been a year and yet sometimes it feels like ages ago! You're right, life just has a way of moving on... Love you and am proud of you!
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