P.S.

I've now corrected the spelling/grammar errors in my last blog.... Writing on my phone takes some getting used to as it's all touch screen. Still no excuse for the amount of errors I had.... Ha! Fun times.

My Droid

So I got a Droid. I've kinda wanted a smartphone for awhile, but didn't want put up the money for one. I finally did, though. I wanted one for my job this next year. I figured I would need a phone with a good calendar on it, and I thought it would be nice to have internet because I probably won't have internet at home and it'll be nice to have something if I'm traveling. Anyway, all that to say that I got a Droid. I was actually planning on waiting until later in the year to get one after I have a more steady income, but Verizon was changing their data plans and I wanted to get in before they changed them too much. I figured I would be a pretty heavy user and I was right. Ha. I use a lot of data and I didn't really want to have to worry about going over my usage.

I got the Samsung Droid Charge. It's the best 4G phone Verizon has right now. That will soon change, but I really like this phone. I'm very much enjoying what it can do. It's way nicer than any phone I've ever had. I really enjoy having the data on it, too. I use it a lot. I think it's going to be well worth the cost.

Enough for now. I'm writing on the phone. It's pretty fast, but I still feel done. Haha. I recommend Samsung!!

A Prayer

Oh, purify the dross within.

Cleanse my heart from bent to sin.

Let my in-turned eyes turn out,

My ears be tuned to needy shout.

I see so much of me these days,

But more and more I want to pray

That I would disappear in You,

That mind and heart would be true through.

For people need me worse than me,

Yet need not I, but only He.

Begging love with loving eyes,

To love them back is my desire.

That nothing selfish, impure, unholy,

Would make the flow of love run slowly.

That I'd invest my too-few years

In more than just regretful tears.

A desperate feel grasps passing time;

A futile sense to even try.

But try I must, for even one

That finds the solace of the Son

Is worth all sorrowful sin refused

All hurtful, selfish pride that's bruised.

"I'm not my own!" This all my thought,

That with the blood of Christ I'm bought.

My mind consume with this staunch motto

That always, only will I follow

The One Who gave up all for me,

So I could give up all for He.

Christ, focus my passions truly, fully,

On a lofty aim that's holy.

Dissatisfy my heart with average;

Transform my world into Your image.

Then, may your world consume my world.

Your high and holy banner unfurled

Above a heart that you have claimed,

That solely bears your precious name.

Not marked by sin, or stain, or dross,

But only by the Saviour's Cross.

When Time Changes Things....

There was a day in my life not that long ago when I would have assured you that Taiwan would never be a part of my life.  It was so foreign….  So unlike anything that I've ever known.  It was place I had only heard of…almost a dreamland that seemed unreal.  It was a place that people I knew had been, but not somewhere I even wanted to go.  If you had asked me two years ago if I would ever spend an extended amount of time in Taiwan, my answer would have been no.  Well, let me rephrase that….  I would have said, "If God wants me to."  Or something along that line.  I had no plans whatsoever to ever do anything more than visit Taiwan, if that.

And now…I've been here.  I actually came.  Let me offer some contrasts.  I didn't know if I would like the food….  There is lots of good Chinese food, and American food is easily accessible.  Plus, I'm actually decently good at chopsticks. :)  And I love the philosophy they have about food: "Get it in your mouth!"  I can't understand the language.  This one is tough…because it's true.  But while Chinese is a hard language, I've already started picking up bits and pieces and understanding the foundational things that would allow me to learn the language.  Plus, a lot of people here speak at least enough English that I can usually get by. Another thing that would have made me think that I couldn't live here: the culture.  From my American perspective, the culture is so drastically different, especially having never been here.  But now that I have actually been here, I see beauty in the differences.  Are there things that would bug me about it, or be hard for me?  Yes…naturally, but there's things that bug me about American culture.  It's a part of life.  The culture here has an intense, mystical beauty that has been well-refined by thousands of years that passed long before U.S. culture even began to develop.  There is a respect for people and a professionalism that is seriously attractive.  It is something that is missing in our hustling, bustling, self-absorbed American culture.

There are some real differences; some of them would be hard to adjust to, but the people here, especially a group of kids at Chi-Ming's school, have stolen my heart.  And when I got to tell them about my Superhero, Jesus, it made me want to stay even more.  I only got to share a little bit.  I only got five days with that class…and in five days, we connected.  I hate the fact that I'm leaving them.  The teaching stresses me out because of the preparation…but I love being a part of their lives.  They are so eager to learn.  They are so appreciative and polite.  They are so respectful and helpful.  They are so easy to love….

I have only two days left in this country.  I will miss it.  The feeling that I would never want to spend time here is gone.  I could be wrong, but I think there will always be a place in my heart for Taiwan.  I hope that someday in the not-too-distant future, I will be able to come back and be a part of it again.  I don't even want to think about the fact that I'm leaving.  I'm excited to go home; I'm ready to go home, but going home means leaving people I have come to love here.

Taiwan, I will miss you.  People of Taiwan, I will miss you more.  Thank you for an amazing experience.  You have changed my life and have taught me far more than I taught you.  Perhaps someday, if God wills it, I will come back…for more than just a month….

To Whom It May Concern

You may see me as young, rash, hot-headed, and impulsive—a young man who can't see clearly because of my youth and who doesn't think before he acts.  You may see me as a threat to what you know as truth, a counter to your carefulness, a rebel against righteousness.  You may think I dilute definites, circumvent concretes, and promote post-modern thinking.  You may think I trade standards for status quo, simplicity for satisfaction, and self-denial for selfish pleasure.  You seem to notice that I don't walk your way and miss the fact that I walk His way, that my beliefs differ from your beliefs but do not disagree with His truth, that my lifestyle is more "liberal" than yours but not more liberal than His Word.  Assume not that my youth implies rash, thought-less actions and philosophies.  Assume, rather that my one greatest desire is to know Him even as also I am known.  Assume not that I desire to destroy truth, but rather that I desire to sift it to its purest form and live and present it as such.  Do not force me into your mold, but rather, help me shape my mold as Christ would have it shaped.  Do not attack my views and philosophies, but rather use the wisdom of your years to guide my thoughts in Godly paths.  Confront me, but do not condemn me.  Guide me, but do not guilt-trip me.  Mold me, but do not manipulate me.  Do not forget that that you, too, were once at this place of decision where relationship with Christ became a love affair of choice rather than a lifestyle standard of obligation. Study me.  Do not assume that I think as you do.  I respect your wisdom, but only if you show that you have wisdom.  I'll give you a chance; please don't waste it.  My youth may limit my wisdom, but it increases my openness to new ideas.  Do not present new ideas as fact unless you can back them up with fact; then, I am forced to deal with fact, and not someone's interpretation that I can write off as flawed.  Please understand: I desire not rebellion but true righteousness, not to reflect an image but to be an image, not to renounce the truth but to revive the truth.  I desire not to release my heritage, but to revolutionize my future.  Do not confine me in your man-made nest; teach me to fly borne on the God-made winds of truth.

How Deep The Father's Love for Us

This song is my testimony tonight.  Just a little bit ago a friend reminded me of Ephesians 3:19, which goes right along with the words of this song.  It says,

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."  (NLT)

How deep the Father's love for us....

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Fear in the Waves

Tonight the ocean reminded me of fear.  It even made me feel a little fearful.  It was dark and the waves were strange—restless, crashing, strong, sudden.  There was an unrest to the ocean that was a bit un-nerving.

It also reminded me of hope.  Several times tonight the ocean came shooting up onto the shore unexpectedly resulting in far more wetness than I had originally intended.  This reminds me of hope because I think of God reaching out to sinners…people standing on the edges who are scared to get their feet wet, or to people who are standing in the water but are torn between full commitment and enjoying the pleasures of sin.

There was a beauty in the fear.  The ocean seemed frustrated, desperate and restless.  This coupled with the darkness and knowledge of the power and magnitude of the ocean's waters was enough to spark a bit of fear in my heart. 

But I thought of the fear a sinner has when he comes to the realization that he resisting God.  There is a fear—a good fear—that comes when you realize how powerful and holy and pure and good God is and how dirty and selfish and ugly you are.  There is fear on two parts.  One: because you know that you don't deserve to  live  in the presence of One so amazing and God could kill you at any time.  Two: because you know that if you choose to live in the presence of this Awesome God, you will have to give up everything that is comfortable and familiar to you.  You will become a citizen of Heaven rather than a citizen of earth, and the things of earth must grow strangely dim if He is to take His proper place.  That is no small thing with which to come to grips.

The restlessness of the ocean reminded me of how God is constantly reaching out to us out of His love, even though He is constantly rejected by men.  If you think about it as a person, when you reach out to someone, you like to see them accept whatever you are doing for them.  You don't like to be rejected.  I have never met God, but I sense that sometimes He must feel like we do when someone won't take something that we've gotten for them.  Especially when we've paid for it with our most prized possession. 

I don't know, but I sense that God must feel a bit of restless desperation at times as people walk on and on rejecting Him.  Perhaps He longs to reach out past the limits under which He has placed Himself that keep Him from forcing men to serve Him.

Fear of commitment, God's longing to know us, hope, restless energy—it was an interesting night at the ocean.